ppt课件-difficultconversationsppt-universityofhawaii.pptVIP

Difficult Conversations The key idea:shift to aLearning Conversation In a Learning Conversation, instead of wanting to win and get your way,  You want to understand what has happened from the other person’ point of view, 2. Explain your point of view,3. [Share / understand feelings,]4. Figure out how to go forward Mistake #1: We believe - we are right, and “they” are wrong. Mistake #2: We dont ask enough questions. Mistake #3: We start off wrong. Should start from the 3rd side. It takes awillingness to see and acknowledge your own contribution to your difficult conversations The ‘What Happened’ conversation is usually focused on Truth Intent Blame Shift “What Happened” From “the truth” perceptions What’s my story? What’s their story? From intentions impact What assumptions am I making about their intentions? What is the impact on me? From blame contribution What have we each contributed to this situation? How can we fix things going forward? How to start?Start from the 3rd story – like a mediator’s openingPut their point of view first You seem to think x, and I’m thinking Y. Can we talk about this?I’d like to talk about ___ with you, but first I’d like to hear your point of view.I think we have different ideas about ___. I’d like to hear your thinking on this. * * * * A difficult conversation is - anything we don’t want to talk about Usually we worry what will happen if we do talk about it If we do talk about it, we usually think and feel a lot more than what we actually say. A difficult conversation is made challenging by one or more of the following: Conflict Fear, anger, or frustration Anxiety, procrastination Disagreement Misunderstanding Mistakes The truth assumption – “I’m right. You’re wrong.” The “intention invention” - we think we “know” the other’s intention; we assume they have bad intentions (and ours is good) The “blame”game – We spen