四级写作经典评析.pptVIP

作文评析 Part-time Jobs 观点对比型 BY group4 主讲：Calvin Yang 行文流程 1.描述现象在现实生活中大致反映，引出全文 2.正（反）观点的对比论述 3.我的观点 行文中出现的主要问题 1.文章主要以短句为主，让文章显得逻辑连接性不强 2.语句、段落之间关联度不够，逻辑性不强 3.chiglish较为严重，书面语、口语分不清楚 4.模板问题比较严重，主要都选择一个模板 行文中的普遍问题 1.think一词的乱用 2.more and more （万恶词组） 3.单词多次重复出现，没有替换 4.没有标点符号，不分大小写 5.单复数问题 6.语法不清楚 7.句法不清楚 Solution NO.1（main problem） 文章行文中应长短句结合搭配，抑扬顿挫，这样会使得改卷老师认为你的英语水平较高，同时文章的层次就出来了 e.g. Most of us have formed an unrealistic picture of life on a desert island. We sometimes imagine a desert island to be a sort of paradise where the sun always shines. Life there is simple and good. Ripe fruit falls from the trees and you never have to work. The other side of the picture is quite the opposite. Life on a desert island is wretched. You either starve to death or live like Robinson Crusoe, waiting for a boat which never comes. Perhaps there is an element of truth in both these pictures, but few of us have had the opportunity to find out. ------New concept 3 Lesson12 Life on a desert island Summery 模板;结构：总-分（正面-过度-反面）-总 总;….have formed different ideas/opinions on 分：…some hold that…(用词：maintain, view, be convinced…) 列举原因：…for the simple reason that… The other perspective is quite the opposite. They argue that …..According to them… (what’s more, in addition, moreover…) 总：Perhaps there is an element of truth in both these opinions, 1.?????but I would maintain a moderate/neutral attitude… 2.?????but I would agree more on the former/latter one… example They have formed different ideas on this topic. ???Some hold that children are supposed to do so for the simple reason that in childhood they get good memory and that early study can lay the foundation for further study in the future. ???The other perspective is quite the opposite. They argue that it is not suitable for children to start English study as early as childhood. According to them, learning English and Chinese at the same time may g