英语命题作文写和评.docVIP

英语命题作文写和评 　　【作文命题一】 　　请根据以下提示写一篇短文，词数 80~100。 　　我的爸爸喜欢抽烟。只要他在家，屋子里总有很多烟。妈妈很生气，劝他戒烟，他总是做不到。 　　一天早晨，我的爸爸一直咳嗽，脸憋得通红。整个早晨，他的脸色都不好。“吸烟有害健康，你最好把烟戒掉。”我对他说。“你说得对，我的孩子。”爸爸说，“但是戒烟很难。我戒过几次，都没成功。”我建议他坚持下去，只要坚持就会成功。 　　从那以后，我和我的妈妈尽全力帮助爸爸戒烟，他吸烟也没以前多了。 　　 　　【学生作文】 　　Help Father Give Up Smoking 　　My father likes to smoke (1) a lot. When he is at home， there’s much smoke in the room. It makes my mother angry. She always asks him to give up to smoke (2)， but he can’t. 　　One morning my father coughed for a long time and his face turned red. He looked sad the whole morning. “Smoking is bad for your healthy (3). You’d better give it up.” I said to him. “You are right， my son.” Said my father， “But it’s hard for me to give it up (4). I tried to stop smoking several times， but I failed.” I asked him to go on to do (5) the thing. If he continued， he would succeed. 　　From that day on， I and my mother (6) try our best to help my father. He doesn’t smoke a lot now. 　　 　　【名师点评】 　　本文多处连接词使用准确，行文流畅，不拖泥带水，但是，建议小作者今后在基础语法上，尤其是在非谓语动词的使用上要多下功夫。 　　(1)like to do后接较为具体的事，而like doing泛指喜欢做某事。 　　(2)give up表“放弃”，后接动词时用v-ing形式。 　　(3)healthy是形容词，此处用名词形式health。 　　(4)此处句型使用准确，语言地道。 　　(5)表示“继续做原来所做的事”要用“go on doing” 。 　　(6)在英语中，同时出现多人称作主语时，第一人称往往位于最后，所以应改为“my mother and I” 。 　　 　　【优秀范文】 　　 　　Help Father Give Up Smoking 　　 　　My father likes smoking a lot. When he is at home， there’s much smoke in the room. It makes my mother angry. She always asks him to give up smoking， but he can’t. 　　One morning my father coughed for a long time and his face turned red. He looked sad the whole morning. “Smoking is bad for your health. You’d better give it up.” I said to him. “You are right， my son.” Said my father， “But it’s hard for me to give it up. I tried to stop smoking several times， but I failed.” I asked him to go on doing the thing. If he continued， he would succeed. 　　From that day on， my mother and I try our best to help my father. He doesn’t smoke a lot now. 　　 　　【作文命题二】 　　王老师是一位好老师。