206 The One With the Baby on the Bus.doc

206 The One With the Baby on the Bus [Scene: At Monica and Rachels.]MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Dont cry. Dont cry. Why is he still crying?ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.MONICA: Maye its me.ROSS: Dont be silly. Ben loves you. Hes just being Mr. Crankypants.CHANDLER: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)MONICA: Theres my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)JOEY: Cool.MONICA: He hates me. My nephew hates me.ROSS: Come on, dont do this.MONICA: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long its gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you dont even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.(Chandler has a basketball which he is moving closer to, then away from, Monica)JOEY: Goo, goo, goo, waaah!MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window)JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?ROSS: I dont know. Whats in this pie? MONICA: Uh, I dont know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi-- ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.MONICA: No I didnt, I said kiwi lime. Thats what makes it so special. ROSS: And thats whats gonna kill me. Im allergic to kiwi.MONICA: No youre not. Youre, youre allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god.ROSS: Ugh.MONICA: Oh my god.ROSS: Ugh. Its definitely getting worse.MONICA: Is your tongue swelling up?ROSS: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.MONICA: All right, get your coat, were going to the hospital.JOEY: Is he gonna be ok?MONICA: Yeah, hes just gotta get a shot.ROSS: You know, you know, actually its getting better. It is. It is. Lets not go. Anyone for Thcrabble?MONI