grade4 unit writing anchor papers（grade4单位写锚论文）.doc

Florida Treasures Grade 4 Teacher’s Editions Unit Writing Workshop Anchor Papers: Student Writing Samples Grade 4 Unit 1: Personal Narrative Score Point 2 A Trip to Grandmas by Stacey J. We like to visit my grandmothers house. It takes a long time to get to Grandmas. The drive is boring. And it is two days long. I used to think there is nothing to do at Grandmas. I don’t feel that way anymore. I can’t wait to explore some part of Grandmas house. The basement has a coal furnace. There are shelves filled with Grandmas canned fruit. The best thing is a box filled with soil and worms for fishing. The garden has more herbs growing than I can count. The peach tree is great. There’s no place I’d rather explore than my Grandmas. Focus—Although the entire narrative is about a visit to a grandmother’s house, the writer does not really share her feelings about the experience. There is no sense of excitement or much emotion at all. The piece needs some descriptive words so it does not read like an outline. Organization—There is a beginning and a middle to the story, but it stops suddenly. The writer could use sequence words to show order and some descriptive words to show place. Transition words are needed throughout. Support—There are very few adjectives to get the reader involved in the story. Color and personal reactions are essentially missing. Conventions—There are errors in punctuation, especially apostrophes in possessives, and in sentence structure. The fourth “sentence” is a fragment and should be combined with the third sentence. What Does a Score Point 1 Paper Look Like? Focus—The writer does not address the topic and lacks understanding of the writing purpose. Organization—There is little or no evidence of organizational pattern. There are no transitions. The paper would not include a closing sentence such as, “There’s no place I’d rather explore than my Grandmas [grandma’s].” Support—The story uses incorrect or immature words; there are few, if any, sup