RELATIONAL DEVELOPMENT Wake Forest University关系发展维克森林大学.pptVIP

NATURAL HISTORY OF RELATIONSHIPS Stage 1: INITIAL ATTRACTION STEP 1: Becoming aware of the other Is X attractive? Attend to the novel/unusual See physical attributes Drawn to the non-threatening See behavior next Draw Inferences about person STEP 2: Deciding to Talk Will they find me attractive STEP 3: Exit or continue Search for similarities STEP 4: Make Behavior pleasing to partner Buoy up the other’s Self-esteem compliment them, attend to them Render them favors showing your desirability or power Agree with others Ascribe positive characteristics to self either directly or indirectly But, might have to live up to “false” information later Stage 2: GROWTH STAGE STEP 1: Commitment to future interaction Increase proximity =s increased commitment/talk/positive feelings STEP 2: A Reciprocity norm Tit for Tat initially Time for repayment increases over time STEP 3: Turning points Greater interaction =s escalators Decreased interaction =s de-escalators Accept or reject escalation Acceptance of escalator has two consequences Differentiation - other social group begin to see you as a couple - External result Identification - you identify yourself as a couple - internal result Stage 3:MAINTAINING A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP STEP 1: Constraining relational tensions Competing demands and simultaneous competing tensions affect communication patterns Tensions OPENNESS VS PROTECTION Want to protect our own and their vulnerability, yet want self disclosure that sustains relationship HONEST VS VALIDATION To be honest or to support the other person AUTONOMY VS INTERDEPENDENCE The need to be together need to be apart PUBLIC VS PRIVATE FACE OF A RELATIONSHIP Pressures to maintain dichotomies of expectations Predictability vs. NoveltyWe want to be able to predict out partner’s ways, yet also want “new experiences.” Passion vs. Stability Seek passion in a relationship, but stability keeps it from burning out as well STEP 2: Rejuvenating a relationship Being too certain, non-spo