s Sandwich.doc

509 The One With Rosss Sandwich [Scene: Monica and Rachels, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.] Phoebe: What am I sitting on? Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but cant) Im out. Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies! (She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.) Rachel: All right! Whos are they? Whos are they? Ross: Well, theyre not mine! Chandler: Well, theyre Joeys! They gotta be Joeys! (Rachel turns and stares at him.) Joey: Yeah, theyre mine. Chandler: See? Theyre Joeys! J-J-J-J-J-Joeys! Ross: Why are they here? Joey: I dont know uhh… (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, Im Joey. Yeah, Im disgusting, I take my underwear off in other peoples homes. Rachel: Well, get em out of here! Whats wrong with you? Chandler: Yeah! Monica: Yeah! Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! Theyre your underwear. Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word. (Follows Joey into their apartment and shrugs on his way out.) [Cut to the guys apartment.] Joey: Thats it! Im tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandlers room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8? Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much! Joey: Oh hey, no, youre not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didnt know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.) Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, yknow that is a tough spot. Joey: Yeah, it was! All right, lis